What do you mean, sit in silence? You don’t talk to anyone? How do you do that? Why would you do it at all?
I’ve had all of those questions and many more when I mention to friends that I will soon be leaving for an annual silent retreat. I’ve had similar, if less intense, reactions to the idea of gathering in the chapel at Epiphany for contemplative prayer. I am often surprised by the response of stunned disbelief at the thought of not talking, at least out loud, for some length of time.
So what does happen on a silent retreat, or even in the half-hour, contemplative prayer service at Epiphany on Thursday mornings at 9:00am? There are, of course, the logistics. We use simple spoken prayers to lead to the silence; we use the chime of a singing bowl to enter into silence; we sit before the chapel altar with lit candles and an icon. We sit in silence for fifteen minutes before another prayer takes us back into fifteen more silent moments. We say amen after a final short prayer and go our way.
And the prayer? There are no rules other than to keep silence. But in the silence, prayer is the process of building and deepening our relationship with God. Talking and listening are the foundation on which all relationships are built. It’s no different with God.
Jesus tells us to ask for what we need, to ask for our deepest desires. Jesus also holds us in our anger, sadness, despair, fear, or joy and gratefulness. We can tell him anything and ask for help, forgiveness, love, or strength and courage. We can ask for a change of heart or the strength to make a change. We can always talk to God – about anything.
Listening is what happens if we stop talking, if we quiet the narrative that is so often going on in our heads. It’s what happens if we try to enter the silence, calm our minds, slow our breathing, and simply sit with Jesus. We don’t have to ‘do’ anything. We have the privilege of not worrying about what we need to achieve, we can simply be – open and receptive to the ultimate love that Jesus represents. It’s an opportunity to pay attention and to open the creaky gates of our hearts.
Maybe you’ve tried this kind of silence and contemplation and you just couldn’t sit still or your mind continued to race. That’s what often happens to me. But, I think God calls us to be faithful, to keep on trying, to care about the deep relationship that can only be built by intentional talking and listening, even if it’s in five-minute increments. I invite you to join us on Thursday mornings or to begin your own practice, somewhere in your day. Say it all from your heart and open your heart to hear. God’s love is always with us.
Mary Street
